Back in Spring last year we published three blogs relating to therapeutic models: what to do if CBT doesn’t work; the importance of a strong therapeutic relationship and how to find the therapeutic model that works for you. Here at Morency, we often receive emails and phone calls from clients who have tried CBT (Cognitive …
What is mindfulness? Mindfulness may seem to have appeared from nowhere, a new fad for the modern world, full of colouring books and apps. Mindfulness can be difficult to master; however, the concept is simple: mindfulness is the awareness of your current state and the world around you. In our busy life’s we tend to …
Toxic relationships are often spoken about in the media or on blogs, but usually in terms of intimate relationships, or occasionally parental relationships. Emotional abuse is clearly an important topic and one that people find themselves needing support with, however, sometimes toxic friendships can also have an impact on an individual’s emotional wellbeing. Toxic friendships can come in many forms and can sometimes mirror the relationship patterns of an abusive intimate relationship. Signs to watch out for include:
Needing to hold on to yourself may seem like a strange idea, however, people can be so focused and busy that they find their sense of self slipping away. The modern world is so busy and many people have endless to-do list tasks that they can spend a lot of time thinking, worrying and rushing – and little time just ‘being’. This can cause people to lose sense of who they are and what they enjoy doing. Alternatively, having a strong sense of self can lead to self-confidence, high self-worth and overall better emotional wellbeing. Signs that you struggle to hold on to a strong sense of yourself include:
Stress is an important evolutionary tool: it ensures that we get things done! Therefore, every individual experiences stress at some point in their lives. However, stress can soon stop increasing productivity and start having an impact on mental health and overall wellness. Signs of problematic levels of stress include:
Self-care is the process of looking after oneself. It can be likened to when a cabin crew member explains that in the event of an incident you should put your own life jacket on before helping others with theirs. Without looking after yourself, eventually your emotional reserves to help others disappear and burnout can occur. If self-care is ignored for so long then caring for even your basic needs can become impossible.
Ten ways to engage in self-care
To engage in self-care involves a certain amount of self-discovery including learning what you enjoy, what you don’t and what your limits and boundaries are. You should aim to discover your self-care priorities and which activities ensure your own wellbeing. To ensure your own wellbeing, try the following ten self-care strategies:
The critic, the nag, the bully, the judge. Many people have an internal voice that criticises them. The inner critic might tell someone that they are not good enough, that they have ‘failed’, that they are unattractive or undermine achievements and progress. Some people’s inner critics might comment most during relationship struggles or during working hours. Some inner voices start their attacks with ‘You should…’ and focus on unrelenting high standards, some focus on inducing shame while others highlight weaknesses.
Most people have heard of the mid-life crisis, with the stereotypical narrative of a man who starts a new relationship with a younger woman and buys a sportscar. The reality is far more complex and involves changing roles and identity struggles. Dr Julie Hannan at Morency specialises in Midlife issues and more information can be found at www.drjuliehannan.com.
People in the middle stage of their lives are not the only ones at a milestone though and many people in their early twenties find themselves with similar issues relating to identity and direction. This quarter-life crisis is currently common among millennials (those born in between the early-eighties and mid-nineties), especially those in their mid-twenties who may be finishing university or experiencing an emotional lull after the first few years in a job.
Suicide is the leading cause of death in UK men under the age of 45 (BBC, 2018) and approximately four times as many men commit suicide compared to women. One of the theories behind this difference is how society accepts and expects women to talk about their feelings, while men are encouraged to ‘man up’. This highlights the importance of talking openly about emotions, mental health and suicide.
To help reduce suicide in the UK it would be helpful for everyone to be on the lookout for the following risk factors and open up the conversation about suicide. Risk factors for suicide include: